Healing
by MoonGoddess09
Summary: When those who are broken help and heal each other. Bucky POV. Post-Civil War. As always, I have taken great liberties with the plot. TW: some detailed violence.
1. Chapter 1

I had barely looked back as Steve and I ran for the plane, that is, until a massive barrier was blocking the way. But it had lifted, and I saw the girl they called Wanda moving it, saving us. Not the first time either. She had also thrown the man dressed in all black off me before he could rip out my throat.

I didn't think about her, or any of them, again until Steve said he was going to leave our safe haven with T'Challa-ironically, the man who had tried to rip my throat out-to save her, Sam Scott, and Clint from the Raft. They had saved us; now we owed them.

"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," he tells me. "You made a promise."

We had been arguing about me going back under cryostasis since we got here. I thought it would protect everyone until someone discovered a way to deprogram me; Steve swore there had to be another way. T'Challa, when pushed for his opinion, refused to side with either of us. All he said was, "I would not make that decision in haste."

Steve is gone for far less time than I had anticipated. The guys don't look too worse for wear, just thinner and exhausted. But her…she's a shell of the person I remember. She's almost skeletal, and I can see scars from what I know was a straightjacket where her shirt slides off her shoulder. She looks beyond exhausted, almost like a zombie. Worse, she looks terrified, haunted. The way she hides her hands in her armpits strikes me, similar to how I hide my silver arm. I hadn't realized I did it until Steve pointed it out. I wonder if she knows.

T'Challa steps into the room. "Welcome all. You may stay here for as long as necessary."

He shows them to their rooms. Everyone except her meets back in the main room.

"She hasn't spoken since we were captured," Clint says, rage seeping into his voice. "They forced her to stay in that straightjacket! They threw her food on the floor! They forced her to eat like a dog! They-" His voice breaks off, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "We thought she might be dead! I thought she _was_ dead, until she started fighting Steve and me when we tried to free her."

Sam puts his hand on Clint's shoulder. "Things were bad; let's leave it there. The guards-" He shakes his head. "If I ever see Tony Stark again, I'm going to rip him apart."

"She's just a kid!" Clint says, his voice shaking. "They broke her!"

Scott nods emphatically, clearly agreeing with them.

I feel a tug in my chest, a sorrow I didn't know I was capable of feeling. She was another one of HYDRA's experiments, like me. Knowing what they did to me…I can imagine what they did to her. Suddenly, I'm angry too. She didn't deserve to be thrown in a cage and locked into her own body like a monster.

Steve breaks the tension. "I think what you all need are hot showers, good food, and proper beds. Let's go."

She won't leave her room. Clint, who had spent the better part of an hour trying to convince her, finally gives up. "She'll rest tonight and want to eat tomorrow."

The others agree. I'm less sure.

* * *

I'm right. Nobody can convince her to come out of her room. She won't talk either. Even Clint, who I learn was instrumental in bringing her into the Avengers, can't bring her out. He's visibly upset about it too.

My room is attached to hers; even with the soundproofing, I can still hear her screaming. I know better than to go in; she barely knows me and she might hurt herself trying to protect herself. I do hear her shower running a few times, for hours at a time. I have a feeling she's trying to scrub all the bad memories away. I had done the same thing.

I find her once, accidentally, in the kitchen during one of my sleepless walks around the compound. She turns quickly when I enter, gasping.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" I say quickly, but I think she's more afraid of her energy than of me. She'd formed it and dropped it quickly, a look of terror on her face. "I only came in for some hot chocolate. Do you like hot chocolate?"

She eyes me warily, her face ghostly in the light of the fridge. She's thinner than she was when I last saw her, if that's even possible, her scars clearly visible. She nods.

"Would you like some?"

She nods again.

I turn to make my preparations and hear her unwrapping some of the dinner leftovers. She eats slowly, her eyes on me. I can't say I blame her for not trusting me. I don't think she even trusts herself, judging from her reaction to her power.

"They're really worried about you," I say as I heat the milk. "Clint especially. Not being able to help you is driving him crazy."

There's the slightest change on her face, a hint of sadness.

"They really care for you. They consider you family. They don't want to hurt you. Even T'Challa decided to risk himself to keep us safe." I put the cup in front of her. "I'm the last person to tell you how to live your life, but you may want to consider what I said."

The muscles in her throat work furiously, so I pause, knowing she's about to say something. "Thank you." Her voice is cracking, barely above a whisper. The first time she's spoken in months.

"You're welcome." And I leave her be.

* * *

She comes to dinner the next night. I can tell Steve wants to make a big deal of it, but I touch his shoulder, shaking my head. They talk as they usually would, addressing a few comments to her, but she stays quiet. Her eyes scan the table, but they mostly stay on me, like I'm a puzzle she's trying to solve.

"Did something happen?" Clint asks after she's gone. "Did something change?"

I hug our conversation to myself; I don't want the others to find out that I, of all people, may have been the one to get through to her.

"I don't know, but I won't complain," Sam says. "Did you see how surprised she was that we had already set her a place at the table?"

"Happy surprised, I think," Scott says. "It was a good idea, Clint."

She joins us for dinner almost every night, then starts coming for breakfast too. She still doesn't speak, but she does acknowledge us with nods and head shakes. She's not skeletal anymore either.

Once they stop worrying about her, I bring up the topic that's been worrying me. "Steve, I think it's time to discuss me going under cryostasis again."

His upbeat mood instantly vanishes. "Bucky, I really don't think that's the best way."

"I can't risk hurting all of you again," I argue. "Can anyone really say no to being protected?"

"No."

Everyone freezes, heads spinning in the direction of the voice. She meets my eyes, clearing her throat and repeating, "No."

I remember that this is the first time they've heard her speak since their internment. Scott recovers first. "You don't want him to go into cryostasis?"

"No."

Of all people, I was not expecting _her_ to have an opinion. Her eyes bore into mine, a determination there I haven't seen since the war.

Steve suddenly gasps, his eyes traveling between us. "I have an idea!"

"No," I reply.

"You haven't heard it yet."

My chest is starting to get tight. "I know what it is. No."

"Wanda could deprogram you with her telepathy!" He looks excitedly at her. "Right?"

She clears her throat again, her eyes still on mine. "It is possible."

Panic is tightening my chest even more. "I'm not letting anyone else mess with my head!"

He opens his mouth to argue, but she holds up her hand, clearing her throat one more time. I can't imagine not talking for as long as she did. "You cannot ask him to trust me so quickly. He barely knows me. Like cryostasis, this decision is not one to be taken lightly."

I feel a surge of gratitude towards her. Steve storms out of the room, with Sam behind him. When we're alone, she looks at me. "We have not formally introduced ourselves. I am Wanda."

I'm thrown by her change in subject. "I'm Bucky."

"Bucky," she repeats, holding out her hand for me to shake. I decide I like her accent.

Her hand is soft and cool, the handshake firm. She still doesn't smile, but I'm not one for smiling either.

"The captain is being overeager because he is afraid of losing his best friend," she says.

"Is that what your mindreading tells you?"

She seems unaffected by the biting sarcasm. "I do not enter my friends' minds without their permission. However, I do not need 'mindreading' to know that he cares for you. You saved each other's lives, yes? You have been friends for a long time?"

"Yes."

"I am the last person to tell you how to live your life. If you want my help, you will ask for it."

Hearing my words from her lips shocks me momentarily. So she _was_ listening. "Thank you."

She nods, leaving me alone.

* * *

The subject isn't brought up again. When Steve tries to broach it, Wanda or Sam stops him. She is quickly becoming my strongest advocate. While I can defend myself, I appreciate the firm pushback against Steve.

I wonder for the hundredth time what she saw in me worth defending as I watch her form energy in her hands. It climbs her arms and she quickly drops it like a hot pan.

"Why do you refuse to use it?" I ask.

I brace for her startled attack, but she doesn't turn. "I had wondered if you were going to speak. You have been watching for two weeks."

"You're afraid of your own power."

Her cheeks flush. "I killed eleven people with it."

"At least you know how many people you killed."

"That was not your fault. You were programmed-"

I cut her off. "And the people in Lagos were yours?"

"Yes. I lost control of my power."

"How do you propose to help me if you're afraid of not being able to control your own power?"

My sarcasm still doesn't faze her. "I trust and control my telepathy."

I look at her for a long time, but she never drops my gaze. "Will it hurt?"

"Going into your mind will not; however, I cannot promise that sifting through your memories will not be painful."

I appreciate her honesty. "And you'll stop if I tell you to?"

"Of course. At the first place where you tell me, or I feel it is unwise to continue, I will stop."

"Okay."

Steve is happy; I'm apprehensive. Wanda decides to have our first session in a shaded grotto. "I thought you would be most comfortable here."

The others are too far away. "Don't you want to be somewhere more secure?"

"I am not afraid of you."

"The others are." The words are out before I can stop them.

"Does that bother you?"

"Does it bother you that they're scared of you?"

Her face is thoughtful. "Were I in their place, I believe I would feel the same."

Me too. I lean back against the mossy rock, trying to make myself comfortable. She waits patiently, kneeling in front of me. "May I touch you?"

I nod, closing my eyes. Her hand is cool against my warm temple. "You have many conflicting emotions. You are happy to be here because you do not have to worry about the others hearing you vulnerable, but you are afraid that I may trigger your programming and that you will harm us. I am arguably the strongest of the Avengers here. They cannot do anything to subdue you that I cannot."

I open my eyes and find myself surprised by the lack of fear in her blue eyes. Before I can speak, she says, "I promise, I will use the utmost caution with you. I know that you do not want to go into cryostasis either."

Panic is starting to clutch at my chest again. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Touch my head the way I am touching yours," she says, her voice gentle. "I am going to allow you into my mind."

I move a tendril of hair out of the way and follow her directions. I instantly hear Clint's voice. _"Are you scared?"_

" _No," she replies. "I want to help him. I do not want us to lose him."_

I can feel her determination not to fail, her acknowledgement of needing to go as slowly as needed, her understanding of my apprehension, the genuine love she has for the Avengers.

I drop my hand, the connection breaking. "How do I know these are true and not just something you're showing me?"

She lets her hand rest on my shoulder, the metal one. For once, I don't flinch. "I suppose you will just have to trust me."

I like what I see in her eyes. I can't put a name to the emotion, but it makes me feel calm. She's not toying with me. "I think I trust you."

A rare smile flickers on her lips. "That will make this process easier."


	2. Chapter 2

I won't lie and say I completely trusted her right away. But she was patient with me, and she got me through the panic attacks. At first, she stayed near the surface, tackling my feelings related to the Avengers, the war, the other supersoliders.

"We need to clear away anything that could be a potential trigger," she explains. "I have been delving deeper and deeper every day."

"Not deep enough for Steve," I reply, bitterness in my laugher that I wasn't expecting.

"He does not understand. He wants immediate results and he wants-"

"To stop being afraid of me."

"Bucky." Her eyes are sad.

"You know I'm right. They're all afraid. Of both of us. Isn't that why you play with your powers for hours every day? So you can control them and make the others feel better?"

She drops her hand. "I think we are finished for the day."

"Wait, no!" I grab her hand. "I think I can go further today!"

"Bucky."

My name rolling off her tongue always sends a shiver down my spine. "Please."

Her hand goes to my temple and I close my eyes. Her being in my mind feels less invasive than I thought it would. Memories of a battle with Steve, Sam, and Natasha Romanoff start coming to the forefront, followed by saving Steve and seeing my name at the Smithsonian. My heartbeat accelerates rapidly, but her voice breaks through. "You were reprogrammed more than once, were you not?"

"I can't remember."

"Do you remember enlisting in the United States Army during the second World War?"

"Vaguely. Are you seeing that?"

"The captain told me a little of your past with him." The hand not on my head has found my chest. "Permission to go deeper?"

"Granted."

Suddenly, I'm shooting at Nick Fury with a grenade launcher, with a machine gun. Then Pierce. Zola. Panic sets in instantly. "No!"

Wanda's voice breaks through again. "You are with me. You are safe. We are coming back to present now." She takes my hand and puts it to her head.

I'm pulled forward into her mind, a calm embrace instantly circling me. Her hands stay firm on my skin until my breathing steadies. I open my eyes, expecting to see fear. If she saw them, she saw countless assassinations.

" _желание."_

Pain wracks my body. No. No. "Wanda!"

This time I feel her push into my mind. She has both her hands on my head and she is waging war with those ten words. My head feels like it's going to split in half. The visions of assassinations swirl in my head. My body is on fire.

I don't know what she does, but the pain stops and I fall forward into her. I close my eyes as she allows me to rest against her chest, her hands gently working through my hair. Hair I desperately need to chop off. Her heart is pounding in time with mine.

"Were you scared?" I ask, my eyes still closed.

"It would be a lie to say I was not."

Of course.

"I was not scared of having to subdue you. I was scared of not stopping the activation in time and you deciding you needed to leave. I have managed to lock some of the words away until I can determine how to deprogram all of them."

"Do you think you'll be able to?"

"Yes. I found the first of your reprogrammings. I believe there is another that stems from your military service, before HYDRA. They are the most prominent program, but there is something beneath them."

Her voice trembles a bit when she says "HYDRA." "Do you remember all of your programming?"

"Yes. Mine was not programming, however."

I sit carefully, then stand, offering my hand. She takes it, hoisting herself off the ground. "I will stay in your room tonight, if you do not mind."

"Afraid I'll activate?" I try to keep my voice light, but the fear is there.

"In case you have nightmares." The lack of fear in her eyes continues to astound me. "I will help you."

* * *

"I want you to hold my head with both of your hands as I do with yours."

I do as she says, but this change in normal routine makes me nervous. "You're going to push today, aren't you?"

"Only if you are comfortable with me doing so."

She has never failed to ask permission. "Do it."

My body has adapted to seeing Zola and Pierce now, even the part where I fell from the HYDRA train during the mission with Steve and the Howling Commandos. The memories before that are tricky, Wanda says, because they've been overwritten so many times.

She takes me slowly, making comments on my current thoughts as we travel back in time. My memories plague me less these days. Wanda had said that the mistakes of my past can be forgiven if I am on a good path in present and future. She thinks I've beaten myself up for far too long. I think she's done the same to herself.

I feel my body tense as she pushes away a barrier, opening to a scene of me getting captured and taken to a prison camp with my men. Working on a super plane, pneumonia, HYDRA officers. Isolation. Schmidt. My body instantly fights back and I'm propelled forward…straight into Wanda's mind.

 _I recognize the HYDRA uniforms as Wanda and a boy I assume is Pietro walk into the facility. The one closest to Wanda speaks to another soldier: "These two will not die." She reacts immediately, but they grab both of them, dragging them to separate rooms as they scream each other's names._

 _Wanda is strapped to a table, screaming and fighting until they inject her with something that makes her go still. Terror grips her as she tries to move her arms and legs. "A mild paralytic," one of the solders chuckles._

 _Another points upward to a mirror on the ceiling. "You'll be able to watch all of our experimentation."_

" _Rest now," the first one says. "We need to prepare your body."_

 _It's an eternity before the paralytic wears off and she starts screaming. A scientist stuffs a dirty rag into her mouth and touches her forehead with a scepter. Brown eyes roll up into her head, body starts seizing, a red glow engulfs her. Eyes open, bright blue like the stone in the scepter._

 _The scientist looks pleased by the red glow in her fingertips. "And now we begin."_

 _The soldiers train her, keeping her away from Pietro, promising that she'll see him if she cooperates. She's terrified of her powers, so she practices nonstop to control them. When she fatigues, they beat her. They shock her, inject her, drown her, every inch of her body becoming weaponized._

Her emotions start overwhelming me, but she yanks me upward out of her mind. She's sobbing, her entire body seizing, and the rage I feel toward HYDRA is overwhelming. I know that pain. Her body collapses, but I catch her, holding on tightly. I wish I could take that pain away.

"I am so, so sorry," I say, her screams echoing in my ears. "I didn't mean-"

She shakes her head to cut me off, but she's gasping for breath.

I run my fingers through her hair, the way she's done to me, trying to calm her. How in the hell did she survive that? How could some monster do that to her?

I'm not sure how long it is before she stops crying. I just know I'm not letting go before she does.

"Is that what you're going to see in my memory?" I ask when she pulls away.

"I suspect there will be something similar, yes."

"Will it activate me?"

"That is the plan."

" _What?!"_ Has she lost her mind?

"You throwing me back has given me an idea. I will break the activation before it finishes. I promise you. I am fairly sure I will break it permanently."

I'm shaking. She touches both of my hands gently. "Whenever you are ready, _if_ you are ready, I will do it."

"Do you have enough energy left to do it now?" I want this over with. It's been months. Steve, the others-I think they're starting to get impatient.

She's reading me. "This journey is not about the others. It is not about Steve; it is not about me. The end will not be easy. I want you to only say yes if it is what _you_ want."

I take a deep breath, then another, trying to clear my anxiety. "I'm ready."

"Hold onto my legs."

I look down at her bare knees. For someone as thin as she is, she has nice-looking legs. "Not your head?"

"Not this time. I need to keep you in your own head."

Before she enters my mind, she takes my face in her hands. "I will be with you until the end. I am not going to stop trying to help you until you tell me to. I promise."

"Thank you." My heart is pounding, but not in a bad way.

We both take a breath and she plunges into my head. She goes faster this time, quickly picking her way to the isolation room in Austria. To Schmidt. The dread is overwhelming. \

" _желание."_

Pain wracks my body as electricity surges through my veins. I'm suddenly afraid they may pop right out of my skin.

" _ржaвый."_

Needles in my arm, my good left arm before it was ripped off. The burning increases with every push of the plunger.

" _Семнадцать."_

Plunging into ice water. Body instantly starting to shut down. Fighting against the hands that hold me, desperate not to drown.

" _Рассвет."_

Pneumonia squeezing the life out of my lungs. The fluid sloshing in my chest, my breaths getting shorter each day. Suffocating.

" _Печь."_

Sweat pouring down my neck, my back, my legs as I try to break the restraints. Metal digging into my wrists, blood dripping to the floor.

" _Девять."_

"This one isn't going to die. I will not allow another one to die."

" _добросердечный."_

Forcing my head back, tipping a vial down my throat. Gagging. Feeling each bone shatter one by one. Re-growing stronger, thicker.

 _возвращение на родину."_

My stomach rejecting the pain, the burning. Vomit. Constant vomit. Blood dripping from my mouth as I rip through my throat.

" _Один."_

Screaming. A dirty rag being stuffed into my mouth. Tasting oil on my tongue.

" _грузовой вагон."_

I'm out of my body, floating, then jolt, going back.

" _желание."_

Pain wracks my body.

" _ржaвый."_

Needles in my arm.

" _Семнадцать."_

Ice water.

" _Рассвет."_

Pneumonia squeezing my lungs.

" _Печь."_

Body drenched in sweat.

" _Девять."_

"This one isn't going to die."

" _добросердечный."_

Bones shattering.

" _возвращение на родину."_

Constant vomit.

I'm jolted back again.

" _желание."_

Screaming.

" _ржaвый."_

Numbing.

" _Семнадцать."_

Drowing.

" _Рассвет."_

Suffocating. _  
"Печь."_

Sweating.  
 _"Девять."_

Dying.

Jolted. Back.

" _желание."_

" _ржaвый."_

" _Семнадцать."_  
 _"Рассвет."_

The pain lessens with each cycle.

" _желание."_

I break from the isolation room, swimming back to present day. The pain falls away the more I swim. T'Challa. Scott. Clint. Sam. Steve. Wanda. T'Challa. Scott. Clint. Sam. Steve.

Wanda.

Her hands on my head, furiously working away my past. My demons. My hands on her knees, gripping, desperate to keep myself grounded. Fighting alongside her.

We fall. My head hits her chest as hers hits my shoulder, both of us breathing like we'd just run a marathon. Her hands are still on my head, like she's trying to assure herself that it's over.

"Did it work?"

Steve's voice.

Anger instantly surges. I don't want him here right now. "How did you-"

"We could hear you screaming all the way to the compound," Sam replies. "Both of you. When we got here, we were afraid to interrupt."

"I told them we should leave after we saw that you weren't dying," Scott says. "But they all wanted to be here in case things went bad."

My chest is burning. "You don't trust her?"

Wanda's left hand moves slightly, like she's trying to calm me.

"We _do_ trust her," Clint says.

"Liar!" I stand, ready to throw a punch. "You don't trust either of us!"

Wanda places herself between us, her back to me. Clearly _she_ trusts me. "Since you are all assembled, shall we test my deprogramming?"

A shadow crosses over all their faces. I _knew_ they didn't trust us. Then Steve steps forward. "I'll do it."

I involuntarily flinch as he says the first word, but the pain isn't there. I still feel like me.

Sam says them next. Then Clint. Then Scott. Still nothing.

Wanda steps up last, and I know the words won't be in English like the others did. I brace myself for what feels like the biggest test I'll ever take.

" _желание."_

I prepare for the pain, the electricity, but nothing happens.

" _ржaвый."_

Still nothing.

" _Семнадцать."_

My body is still normal temperature. My heart is pounding.

" _Рассвет."_

No voices except hers.

" _Печь."_

T'Challa.

" _Девять."_

Scott.

" _добросердечный."_

Clint.

" _возвращение на родину."_

Sam.

" _Один."_

Steve.

" _грузовой вагон."_

Wanda.

I open my eyes.

"Bucky?" Wanda asks.

I sigh, relief surging through my body. "It's me."

The others explode. "She did it!"

We're both engulfed with hugs. Steve calls for a celebration. I keep my eyes on Wanda. We have spent an eternity on this, but we finally made it. I'm free.


	3. Chapter 3

My friends recite the words in every language we know for a week straight, then Wanda recites them in Russian once a week for another month.

"Do you trust that you're fine now?" Steve asks while he, Sam, and I train in the weight room.

"I had to be sure," I reply.

"I don't know how you stood her poking around in your brain for so long," Sam says, shuddering.

The immediate irritation surprises me. "It worked, didn't it?" I shoot back.

"Okay, simmer," Steve says.

"It doesn't bother you that she knows all your innermost thoughts and feelings?" Sam asks, ignoring Steve.

"Not as much as I thought it would."

"I hate that she can read our minds."

"She doesn't read them without permission."

"How do you know?"

"Because I was in her mind too."

"And you trust her?"

I level a glare in his direction. "Yes."

Sam and Steve both open their mouths, but T'Challa interrupts. "Captain. A communication from Miss Carter."

Steve's face lights up as he rushes out the door.

Sam looks at me before we follow. "Do you find it as weird as I do that he's infatuated with his former lover's grand-niece?"

Finally, something we can agree on.

Clint, Scott, and Wanda are playing a board game in the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and down it while Sam studies the board. "You're screwed, Scott."

"Thanks for reminding me," he replies.

Steve is beaming-literally, grinning from ear to ear-when he joins us. "I have news!"

"We can go home!"

The bottle drops from my hand and Wanda instantly starts shaking beside me, so violently I'm afraid she's having a seizure. I catch her before Clint can even move, but he wraps his arm around her as well. "How?" he demands. "We're all fugitives!"

"How do we know they aren't going to just toss us back into cages?" Sam adds, looking at Wanda. She's still shaking.

"Sharon told me that the government is dropping all charges against us. They also tore up the Sokovia Accords."

"And you trust her?" Scott asks.

Steve nods. "She pulled a few strings, leaked documents, and convinced important people to speak on our behalf to the US government and the UN. The country, and the world at large, is feeling very sympathetic to the plight of Bucky being framed by the government, of the Avengers who were on the run and imprisoned doing what they could to stop supersoliders, and the images of the cells on the Raft. One of the guards also apparently took pictures of Wanda in her cell."

I feel her legs collapse, and Clint and I hurriedly help her into a chair. She draws her knees to her chest, and the fear on her face breaks my heart.

Clint's voice is shaking with anger. "Can they promise that? We will get those promises in writing? I'm talking signed by the heads of the alphabet soup, the UN, the President."

"Already done." He shows us the tablet T'Challa had lent us. There are screencaps of all the documents in question.

Scott had left the room. I hear the TV click on, the voices of the news anchors who had labeled Wanda and me as dangerous traveling into the kitchen. "He's right."

We rush to the other room. Images of the Raft come up on the screen. The surge of anger that shoots through me surprises me. She's lying on the concrete, eyes closed, skeletal. She looks dead. I turn to a noise behind me, and see Wanda standing behind us, leaning heavily on the doorframe. The color has completely drained from her face.

There's talk of secret prisons, forced supersoliders, cruel and unusual punishments. We are victims now. Not killers. Not dangerous. Not fugitives.

"So what do you think?" Steve asks. "Can we finally go home?"

I know Clint and Scott want to see their families. I know Steve wants to see Sharon. But Wanda has no one. I have no one. Well, I guess I have Steve.

Everyone turns to look at Wanda. It's her decision and she knows it. I suddenly feel protective. What is she going home to? Nothing.

"You can stay with my family and me," Clint offers softly. "My wife and kids would love to have you."

"The Avengers compound is your home as well," Steve says. "That's where Bucky and I are going."

Well, that answers one question. The selfishness is overwhelming. I know they want to go home, but the look in Wanda's eyes…will she even make it?

I recognize the determination on her face as she pushes off the wall and stands upright. She's going to make this sacrifice for us. "Let us go home."

* * *

Surprisingly, everyone except Clint ends up back at the Avengers compound. It's eerily silent, like a tomb, as we walk around to check that everything is intact. It is. Even their old rooms still have all their stuff in them.

Sam smiles at the chessboard in the common room. "Remember when everyone was trying to beat Vision at chess and we stayed up all night?"

"Was that the same night you, Cap, and Rhodey spent three hours arguing which weapons were superior in combat?" Scott asks.

I smile. That sounds like Steve.

"Yes!" Sam laughs as we head into the kitchen. "Oh! Remember when Wanda was trying to teach Vision how to cook because everything he made was completely inedible?"

Wanda's expression doesn't change, but Steve smiles for the first time. "That dish he was trying to make to cheer Wanda up after Pietro died. Natasha refused to eat it, saying we would all get sick, and sure enough, Wanda and I were sick all day the next day."

Sam laughs again. "That's what you get for trying to be polite! Rhodey and I were smart; we only took a bite."

Scott's laughing too. "I'm glad I missed that one."

They keep exchanging anecdotes during dinner, but Wanda still doesn't join in. She goes to bed before the rest of us, saying she's still tired.

I'm stuck on a few of the stories they told. Rhodes and Sam were clearly good friends, and Steve and Romanoff…but what about- "Were Wanda and Vision close?"

"Yeah, they were nearly inseparable." Sam smiles. "She was the only one who would put up with the million questions he would ask about the human world."

"Billion questions, actually," Steve says.

"Trillion."

"Very possible."

"We should play chess."

Scott starts laughing. "But you suck at it."

Sam laughs too. "Don't care. Let's play. You all in? We can rotate."

They are; I decide to head to bed. It's been a long few days. I'm hoping to be nightmare free from here on out.

Wanda's scream should have been inevitable. I'm in her room in seconds, shaking her awake. She's sobbing and choking and it takes what feels like an eternity to get through to her. She keeps apologizing for waking me, but I'm not angry. I'm worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask.

She nods. "I am fine."

Her tear-streaked cheeks and shaking voice tell me otherwise, but I don't push her. I know she won't talk.

My own dreams are finally pleasant.

* * *

Her nightmares don't stop. If anything, they get worse the longer we're here. We have meetings with the UN, the FBI, the DoD, Congress, the President himself. We all get a thousand apologies, especially Wanda and me, and every media outlet wants to interview us. That pisses me off, so Steve handles all of them with a single statement: "We just want to be left alone to reacclimate to being home."

Wanda puts on a brave face, but the circles under her eyes get darker by the day. Her workouts with us are half-hearted, her power dim. She's barely using her telekinesis; it's almost like she's afraid of it. I hate how she's reverting. By the time we had left Africa, she had a much better handle on her power. The first couple months watching her had been terrifying. When her energy started climbing up her arms and across her torso, I thought it was going to consume her. Then she threw it down like it was going to bite her. I had spent the time holding onto my silver arm. I understood that fear.

"Please talk to me," I beg after six straight weeks of nightmares. "Please let me help you."

She's quiet, her eyes searching my face. I don't even know why I'm pleading with her. I guess her screams and cries are starting to get to me. I know what it feels like to be tortured by your own mind.

"Remember when we were in Africa and we saw what HYDRA did to us? It helped me to share my pain with you. I thought it helped you too."

"It did." Her voice is soft.

I gently put my hands on her head. "I'm ready."

She places hers on top of mine.

 _Wanda sits at a table with Pietro and two adults. An explosion rocks the building and the floor crumbles beneath their feet. They scream, grab for the adults, but their bodies are a bloody mess of limbs and organs. Another shell hits the building. "We have to get out of here!" Pietro screams, grabbing her and rolling under the bed._

 _They try to move the debris around them, but they're stuck. They stare at the unexploded shell, the words_ Stark Industries _boring into Wanda's skull. She promises that they will get out of here, find Stark, and kill him for killing their family and friends._

 _The scene changes, a robot she and Pietro call Ultron recruiting them for a mission against Tony Stark and the Avengers. "I always wondered why only you two survived the experiments." He looks at Pietro. "You and I can hurt them, but you-" He puts his hand to the side of Wanda's face. "You can tear them apart from the inside."_

 _The scenes keep shifting. Wanda pulling the Avengers' worst fears into the forefronts of their minds and torturing them with the images, Ultron creating a body and Wanda discovering his plans for human extinction. Wanda and Pietro joining the Avengers. The creation of Vision. The fight in Sokovia. Wanda's body breaking down when she feels Pietro die. Vision carrying her to safety. Sokovia exploding._

"Those were your parents that died in the bombings, weren't they?"

She nods into my neck, choking on her tears. "Sokovia is all my fault. I hated them. I hated Stark. I gave him the visions that made him activate Ultron and then I gave all of them the visions that made the Hulk attack the city and I left my post when Pietro died and let the machine separate Sokovia and forced the captain and Stark to destroy it!" She sobs even harder.

I pull back and grab her shoulders roughly. "Wanda! Do you really believe that?"

I don't even have to be in her mind; her guilt is seeping from her pores. I open my mouth to speak, but Steve is suddenly on the bed, pushing me to the side. "I swear to you, nobody blames you for what happened."

"You are lying!"

"Look at me!" I recognize that voice. "You helped us! _You_ were the one who discovered Ultron's plan! You helped evacuate everyone from that landmass and almost got killed doing it! You fought alongside us, and you saved my life!"

Her tears are still falling. "But I left my post. I let him activate the machine."

"You had just lost the last person in the world you had. Any of us would have done the same. I would have. I _have_. Part of what led to the fight with Tony was insisting on rescuing Bucky. And I don't regret it." He looks at me over his shoulder before turning back to her.

She's reading him, trying to gauge his sincerity. Her face softens, and he pulls her into his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I had no idea you felt that way. It's not your fault. It was never your fault."

I'm pulled into the hug and we sit in silence for a long time. Once Wanda is calm, we leave. I pull Steve to the side. "What happened to me wasn't your fault either."

"Buck-"

"It wasn't. And even if it was, don't you think you've more than made up for it my now?"

He smiles a bit. "Wanda told me the same thing."

"She probably got it when she was in my mind."

His smile slips. "I really wish I could have been the one to help you."

"I think it needed to be her. She needed a chance to redeem herself."

"Did you get that when you were in her mind?"

I must look as surprised as I feel because he adds, "I saw you with your hands on her head. Is that why she was crying?"

"She had a nightmare. Instead of talking about it, she showed me."

"I see we've come full circle."

I look in the direction of her closed door. I hope it's over. "I guess we have."


	4. Chapter 4

None of us bring up that night again. Wanda seems marginally better, but I think something else is still haunting her. I'm distracted from worrying about her by a knock on the front door. Everyone freezes. Steve leads the way to the door with the rest of us behind him, all prepared to fight. He gasps when he looks through the peephole. "Natasha!"

The rest of us exchange confused looks as he opens the door. "What are you doing here?"

Before she can respond, Sam steps forward. "You helped Cap and Bucky escape. Why the hell weren't you at the Raft with the rest of us?"

"Always the double agent," I say. "I bet you told them you couldn't stop us from escaping, didn't you?"

"I already got this lecture from Barton!" she replies.

"Good!" Sam says. "Did he tell you exactly what that little girl went through?" He points to Wanda, who's standing in the doorway behind us.

"Yes."

"He told you about the straightjacket? The shock collar? About the guards screaming at her to just die? Telling her-"

"Enough!" Steve cuts in. "That's enough!"

"I'm sorry!" Romanoff says.

"Oh, you're sorry," I reply, wishing I could throw her out the door. "Because that makes everything so much better."

"None of us thought-"

"You're right," Sam says. "None of you thought. If Tony Stark had sat down for two minutes and actually thought shit through rather than just reacting, we wouldn't be in this freaking mess."

"Stark told Barton he had no idea you'd end up there."

"And Barton told Stark he was a liar," Scott finally speaks up. "He came to the Raft; did you know that? He said the place was for maniacs or criminals, and Barton had to remind him that he made us criminals."

"You all made us criminals," Sam says. "And you have the nerve to come here and-"

"Stop!"

This time, it's Wanda's voice. She's looking at Romanoff with her head tilted, a sure sign she's reading her. "You saw Clint. How is he?"

For the first time since I've known her, Romanoff looks rattled. "He's well. He's happy to be home."

"How long have you been staying with them?"

"A few months. He believes in keeping your enemies closer. We're a work in progress."

"And before that?"

She looks at Steve. Realization dawns on his face. "You didn't find Dr. Banner, did you?"

"No."

"What do you want from us?"

"I want to be part of the Avengers again."

Sam, Scott, and I instantly protest, but Steve holds up his hand. "Wanda?"

"She is sincere."

"You haven't even gone into her head yet," Sam complains.

I feel her beside me. "I do not have to. Her usual guard is missing."

Steve looks at us. "She _did_ help us escape."

"She was on _his_ side!" Sam exclaims.

But we're fighting a losing battle. Steve isn't going to back down and we know it.

"For the record, I don't like this," I say.

"Neither do I," Sam says.

"Or me," Scott adds.

"Clint is the one who said keep your enemies closer, right?" Steve replies. He looks at her. "We'll give you a second chance."

"Thank you." She's speaking to him, but looking at us.

I shoot her the nastiest glare I can. "We aren't going it for you."

* * *

It isn't long after Romanoff returns-and, to her credit, works really hard to regain our trust-that Rhodes shows up. He's walking, and I see tears in Sam's eyes.

"Let me guess," Scott says. "You want to come back too."

"This is where I belong."

"What about Stark?" Romanoff asks, beating me to the question.

He frowns. "I'm not quite sure what's going on with Tony. He has locked himself away in his mansion. Even Pepper has left."

"She left him?" Steve asks, sounding shocked.

"He drove her away. He pushed all of us away."

"I guess it's only a matter of time before Vision shows up too?"

"It's likely."

I feel Wanda stiffen beside me. Her face is blank when I turn, but I know something's wrong.

"So we're just adopting Stark's strays now?" Sam asks. He's clearly trying to sound madder than he actually is.

"You picked Stark over us," I say.

"Would you have chosen Tony over Cap, even if you knew Cap could possibly be wrong?"

Damn. I can't argue that.

Rhodes looks at Wanda. "I am so sorry you ended up at the Raft. I promise you, we never thought-"

"Save it," Romanoff says. "They've heard it."

It's a long time before Sam extends his hand. "Welcome back, man."

Rhodes takes it, and they clap each other on the back. "I missed you, man. I didn't have anyone to argue weapons with."

Sam laughs. "Guess we should make up for lost time."

Wanda and I cook dinner for everyone, then we all decide to start a game of Monopoly. Sam and Rhodes both accuse Scott, who's playing banker, of cheating, then agree to postpone the game until tomorrow night when Steve builds a hotel on Park Place.

When I hear Wanda scream in the middle of the night, I'm not surprised. I've been watching the circles deepen under her eyes for weeks and watching her bind herself so tightly I thought I would hear her bones snap. But she swore she was fine. She wouldn't open up. Now I'm not giving her the option.

"Talk to me," I say as I shake her awake. "Show me what's happening."

I never thought I'd be begging anyone to let me see their pain, the demons locked deep inside. But my entire mind was bared for her, and I want to know hers too. I want to help heal her the way she helped me heal.

 _We're going to make sure you can't kill anyone else!"_

 _Wanda struggles against the guards, but they throw her on the ground, pinning her down. One slaps her across the face and Clint screams at him. "Leave her alone!"_

 _The slap echoes and he grunts._

 _They yank her up and toss her like a sack of potatoes in her cell, her face scraping against the concrete floor. Her arms are bound; she can't brace herself. She rolls, working herself into a seated position, her head resting against the bars. She doesn't speak._

 _She continues not speaking as the others yell to her and each other, trying to keep the spirits up. The guards toss a metal dish on the floor on her cell, refuse to unbind her hands to eat. After a few meals bending over like a dog and the guards slapping the others for screaming at them, she stops eating._

 _A guard yanks open the door and stares at the uneaten food. "You won't eat our food? You think you're too good for us?" He yanks her mouth open while another guard shoves a handful into her mouth._

 _She chokes, the others yell, and the guard holds her throat until she swallows. When he tries to shove another handful in, she bites his hands. He curses and slaps her across the face until she's bleeding._

" _Freak!" the guards yell from the door. "You can just rot in there!"_

 _She lies on her side. They never bring her food again, despite the others' pleas. She is a freak, she is dangerous, the world is safer with her locked away. They are right._

" _Just die already!"_

 _The guards' voices are the only ones that stick. Clint's, Sam's, Scott's…they roll off her back like rain._

 _She tries to force her powers to attack herself, to give herself the pain she gave others. It fails. The salty tears sting her chapped lips._

Let me die, _she prays._ Please just let me die.

This time, I'm not sure who's supporting who. Her tears soak my shirt as I hold her tight, and mine fall to her hair.

How many nights had I prayed for death? Cryostasis was my suicide plan. I couldn't hurt people if I wasn't here.

"Please tell me you don't still want to hurt yourself," I say into her hair.

"I have caused so much pain."

"You saved my life. And, by proxy, Steve's. You gave Clint a daughter to care for while we were in exile. Scott too. And you gave Sam his little sister."

She doesn't respond, so I stroke her hair with my good hand. "Please don't hurt yourself. I don't want to lose you."

I feel her grip tighten and respond in kind. The moonlight and the tears make her eyes sparkle as she pulls away. "I apologize for making your shirt wet."

"Not a big deal," I reply. Do you want me to stay on the couch tonight?"

She nods.

I stand up and pull my wet shirt off, feeling a burst of warmth when her eyes travel my bare torso. I should be used to this kind of attention-I've been with tons of women-but something about her gaze feels different.

She lies back, pulling the blankets up to her neck. "Good night, Bucky."

"Good night, Wanda."

I wonder if me saying her name makes her shiver the way her saying mine does to me.

* * *

Wanda is already in the training rooms when I walk in the next morning. The free weights are floating in the air and slowly spinning in circles. "Good morning, Bucky," she says without turning around.

"How did you know it was me?" I ask, walking over to a punching bag.

"Your footsteps. And your deodorant."

I automatically move to smell my pits and see her shoulders shaking like she's trying not to laugh. "It smells nice."

"Thanks."

"Thank you for last night."

I pause, looking into her eyes before starting my workout. She looks a lot less exhausted than usual. "Any time. Really."

We do our own things until the others come in for Steve-led group training. And that becomes our routine. We're always first in the morning and I watch gym equipment float in the air while I punch the bag or lift. As her mood lifts, she'll sing sometimes while we're alone. I don't understand the words, but her voice is beautiful. She's my favorite sparring partner too even though I know I can't beat her. She makes me work.

When the weather is warm, we teach her to play baseball and split into teams. I quickly learn that Sam and Romanoff are the only ones who can rival Steve's competitive streak. The sun feels amazing, even turning Wanda's face a cute shade of pink. She loves lying in the shade reading while Steve, Scott, Rhodes, Sam, and I play basketball.

We take turns cooking dinner, but I always help Wanda on her nights and vice versa. Everyone joins in board game and card playing and movie and TV watching in the evenings. Steve killed us the first game of Monopoly, but I won the second. Wanda and Romanoff dance. They pull the rest of us in too, and I hear Wanda laugh out loud for the first time when I dip her back during a waltz.

Then comes the knock at the door. All eyes go to Wanda as Steve opens it. Vision steps through the door, smiling as soon as he sees her, opening his arms. "Wanda, I have missed you!"

The anger that sparks in her eyes makes me take a step back. She takes a step forward, her hands balled into fists. "You are not welcome here."

His whole demeanor changes to that of a kicked puppy. "I do not understand."

"You were supposed to be my friend! But you held me prisoner!"

"Tony asked me-"

"That's a bullshit lie," Rhodes breaks in. "You offered to stay with her."

"You held me prisoner, treated me like a criminal! You tried to hurt Clint when he came to rescue me!"

"You used your powers against me!" Vision clearly is out of his comfort zone. I can almost see him trying to calculate how to respond to her.

"You forced me to! You would not let me leave!"

"It was for your safety."

" _My_ safety! That is a lie and you know it! Tony Stark was afraid of another Lagos. You all were. You wanted me locked away so I could not kill anyone else."

"You did end up locked away…because of them!" He points accusingly at Steve and me.

"No, I was locked away because of Stark and his stupid fear. _They_ rescued me. _They_ took care of me. Clint, Sam, and Scott too. _You_ never defended me."

He tries to speak, but she cuts him off. "You said you wanted people to see me the way you do. I want people to see me the way _they_ do. As a friend. As an ally. People who sided with Stark called me a terrorist. Me, a _terrorist._ I accidentally killed eleven civilians trying to prevent a bomb from killing multiple times that number, and _I_ am a terrorist. Tony Stark sells the weapons that killed my parents and millions more, and _he_ is a hero!"

Everyone has taken at least three steps back. Her hands are glowing scarlet, and I know none of us would blame her if she attacked him.

"Wanda, please. I am sorry."

She points to the door. "Get out. Now!"

"Wanda-"

"Now! Or I swear…"

He knows she's serious. I have never seen her so angry. Scarlet is climbing her arms as Vision leaves, slamming the door behind him.

"Wanda," I say softly. I can see her body shaking.

She looks surprised to see the scarlet on her shoulders and drops the power. "If you will excuse me, I am going to spend the evening in the training rooms."

"Don't destroy anything," Steve says.

She laughs, a scary, strangled sound. "I can use the punching bag Bucky already destroyed."

Nobody moves, but there is a collective outtake of breath when she leaves the room. "I wish she would have hit him," Sam says.

There's general agreement, and Steve looks at me. "You think she's okay?"

"Is he the Wanda expert now?" Romanoff asks sarcastically.

"Yes," Sam and Scott say in unison.

"They got close when we were in exile," Steve replies. "Buck? She okay?"

"Honestly, I think that was exactly what she needed," I reply.

Rhodes looks thoughtful as we pull out a deck of cards. "She was right."

"About what?" Scott asks.

"Everyone labeled her a terrorist, even though those deaths were in no way purposeful, because they were afraid of her power. They wanted Bucky dead because he was assassinating people, even though it was completely out of his control, and people in our own government were complicit. And people know that Tony's industry has sold weapons to friend and foe alike, but they give him a free pass because he's rich, handsome, and Iron Man. And those weapons have killed more people than all the Avengers combined."

"You have a point," Sam says. "We were labeled a problem because of our 'enhanced abilities,' but our government wanted to kill people with the equivalent of the Iron Man suit and that was fine."

"Now do you understand why I fought so hard?" Steve asks.

"I do," Rhodes replies.

I leave them to their game and discussion and wander toward the training rooms. Wanda is in the process of ripping up and piecing back together the punching bag I broke the other day. It's hypnotic.

Rip. Fix. Rip. Fix. Rip. Fix.

She throws her energy around the empty room, but stops it before it destroys the walls. She hangs the bag and punches it until it disintegrates. She propels herself into the air and catches herself before she falls. Her energy is brighter and stronger than I've ever seen it. Her hair fans out as she spins in an endless circle, finally dropping to her knees and sobbing.

I resist the urge to run to her. After what feels like an eternity, she finally stands and takes a deep breath, her face the calmest I've seen in over a year. Her entire body looks open and free and light. She opens her eyes, scanning the windows. When she finds me, she smiles.


	5. Chapter 5

I love this happy Wanda. Her smile is infectious, and the whole compound has caught it.

"You were right, Barnes," Romanoff says. "Screaming at Vision was exactly what she needed."

He tries once a week to see her, but Steve tells him she's not ready. A part of me hopes she'll never be ready. I don't want him here. We're good the way we are.

I have a feeling she knows how I feel. The day she announces that she's ready, she pulls me aside. "You have been one of the best things to ever happen to me," she tells me very seriously. "That will never change."

I feel the same way about her, but I can't bring myself to say it. I think she knows.

Steve is so happy to have the team intact again. "This isn't just my team," he tells me. "This is my family."

He's still reeling from Sharon deciding that she doesn't feel for him the way he feels for her. Sam and I are in agreement that it's probably for the best. But we're sympathetic. Wanda coordinates with me to make his favorite foods and watch his favorite movies for a week. It becomes a team effort. I guess we kind of did become a family.

I try really, really hard to like Vision, I swear. If nothing else, for Wanda's sake. But everything about him irks me. His inability to cook, despite Wanda's best efforts; his snooty voice; his I'm-smarter-than-you demeanor; his million questions. Every time he asks her a question, I want to punch him in the face. Every time he takes her away as a sparring partner, I want to strangle him. I don't care that he's a better match than I am. He doesn't even fight her at full power because he "doesn't want to her hurt." He wants to "protect her." Every time he says her name in that simpering tone, I want to kill him.

I complain to Steve; he tells me to try harder. I complain to Sam; he tells me I'm jealous.

"Of what?" I demand.

"He's movin' in on your woman," he replies.

I feel the back of my neck get hot. "She's not 'my woman.'"

"You want her to be."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"You're in denial."

I go to find Scott and complain to him. He agrees with me. Finally.

* * *

I don't have time to worry about Sam's insane accusations because the DCPD calls the Avengers in to help with a situation. A massive group of what looks like bums, to be exact, but apparently the police can't do anything to deal with them.

"Hooray, another situation where we have no idea what we're up against," Romanoff says.

There's a knock on the door. "Who could that possibly-" Steve interrupts himself when he looks through the peephole. "Thor!"

"I know what they are, I know what we need to do to defeat them, and I brought reinforcement," he says as soon as he steps through the door.

A girl who looks like a warrior steps in behind him. He quickly introduces her as "Lady Sif of Asgard, but call her Sif."

"So what are they?" Steve asks.

Thor nods to Sif. "Marauders," she replies. "They were all over the realms for a while when the bridge between worlds was broken, but my army and I defeated them numerous times. They usually stick to uninhabited realms, so for them to come here is strange."

"If you all agree, Sif and I can lead two separate teams to cover as much ground as possible," Thor says. "She'll probably be better than me; I've only fought them once!"

He nudges her and she rolls her eyes. I notice Steve hasn't stopped staring at her. He's always had a thing for brunettes. Another reason the Sharon thing was so weird.

"I figured I'll take Vision, Wanda, Sam, and Natasha, and Sif can take Cap, Bucky, Scott, Rhodes, and Stark…where _is_ Stark?"

Everyone suddenly looks uncomfortable. "We still aren't on speaking terms," Steve explains.

"Well, we need him, and I need you and him on the same team. Can you all do that?"

Steve and Rhodes nod immediately, Scott and I more hesitantly.

"Good. Sif will explain the plan and Stark and I will meet you in Washington D.C."

Steve silences any protests with a look and turns his attention to Sif. "You have the floor."

I realize quickly that she is a woman used to leading an army. She explains the situation concisely, then finishes giving orders on the trip. Steve shows her how to use our headsets, something she seems fascinated by. "I'm used to just shouting orders," she explains.

To my surprise, transitioning Stark onto the team is done seamlessly. To my even greater surprise, he actually lets Sif give the orders. He and Rhodes, and Sam and Vision, are our eyes in the sky. I wish I was fighting with Wanda. There's worry in the back of my head I can't drown out.

"Barnes, your six!" Starks says from above.

Sif slices the Marauder clear through before I can even react. Her sword is incredible. I call a thank you to her back.

I'm not sure how long the battle wages, but we see sunsets and sunrises. I'm exhausted, I'm hurting, and these assholes are tough.

"I can't see any more of them," Rhodes eventually says from above. "Tony?"

"None here either. Vision?"

"No."

"We're clear over here," Sam says.

"Call it, Sif," Thor says.

"Everyone meet in front of the-what do you call it-the White House. Thank you, Captain. I assume your police will want to speak with us."

Scott is the first person I see as I hurry toward the meeting point. He offers his hand for a high-five, but my own misses the mark. My mind is on Wanda. When we get closer, I breathe a sigh of relief. She's scanning the crowd too, and runs to throw her arms around me when she sees me. "I am very happy that you are safe."

"I'm so glad to see you in one piece," I reply.

"I will take credit for that," Vision says in his usual condescending voice.

Wanda stiffens in my arms and the look on her face says she disagrees with him, but she stays silent.

"I will always be there to protect her."

"She doesn't _need_ protecting," I reply, trying to make my voice as snooty as his is.

He's cut off from answering by Sif addressing Thor. "Those were the most overpowered Marauders I've ever fought."

He nods gravely. "You think the same thing I do then? Something-"

"-is guiding them, yes. But what?"

"That is what we will need to figure out. Thank you for your help, Sif."

She turns to us. "Thank you for listening to me. I was told the captain and Mr. Stark usually lead."

"Men are putty in the hands of beautiful women," Romanoff says, smirking.

Stark rolls his eyes. "I wasn't given an option."

But Steve's face is red. "You are a great leader. It was an honor following you."

She shakes his hand and looks at Thor. "I will be leaving now."

He nods. "Tell the Allfather thank you for sparing his commander for a few days."

She smiles, then calls "Heimdall," and a shining beam of light whisks her away.

Thor laughs at our reactions. "The bridge between realms was fixed." Then he becomes serious. "I am going to look further into this incident. If you need me, I will be staying with Dr. Selvig. I will give you the address."

"Not Jane?" Stark asks.

"She left me for a man from this realm. Apparently dating a-what do you call it-a demigod lost its allure."

"I'm sorry to hear that." For the first time, Stark actually sounds sincere.

"As am I," Steve says. "I can empathize."

The tension comes full force after Thor leaves. This time, it's everyone versus Tony Stark. He knows it too. But Steve puts his hand out. "Thank you for your help."

Stark shakes it. "We can't have other worldly beings destroying cities now, can we?"

"No, we certainly can't."

"If Thor gives you information…" His voice trails off. I'm thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

Steve puts him out of his misery. "I will keep you informed."

Stark looks at us, conflict clear on his face. His eyes are on the red and purple scars showing through the rips in Wanda's shirt. "For what it's worth, I never wanted things to end up the way they did."

The smartass comment is on the tip of my tongue, and probably on Sam's too, but Wanda speaks up first. "We know."


	6. Chapter 6

Of course the picture of Steve and Stark shaking hands is on the front cover of the newspaper the next day. We can't even blame Stark for staging it either because Steve initiated it. The Avengers are back together, but Stark was never as dedicated as Steve or even Romanoff. We don't see him again.

I swear to god, the only thing distracting me from strangling Vision with the lights I'm attempting to untangle right now is Steve acting like a teenager with a crush.

"Cap, bro, I love you, but if you don't shut up about Sif for two seconds, I'll-"

Sam is cut off by Scott tossing him a roll of tape. "Here. That might help."

Everyone laughs at the look on Steve's face. "Okay, okay," he says. "I'm sorry."

"I don't think a long-distance relationship would work anyway," I say.

"Don't they live to be like thousands of years old anyway?" Romanoff asks. "You'll probably die way before she does."

"Leave it to Romanoff to keep it real," Sam says, laughing.

"Thank you," Steve says. "I love thinking about my impending demise."

"Don't listen to her, Cap; you don't look a day over 30," Rhodes says.

"Maybe a week over," Wanda adds, making everyone laugh.

I nudge her knee with mine and she smiles, triumphantly holding up a string of lights. "Untangled!"

"Falling down on the job, Bucky," Steve teases.

"Well, I don't have magical powers like _some_ people do," I retort.

She grins, handing the lights to Scott, who's standing on a stepladder.

It's Christmastime at the Avengers compound. It's another tradition to teach Wanda, and she's thrown herself headfirst into helping with preparations. Steve had really wanted to celebrate, so the rest of us had joined in for him and Wanda. Well, we _were_ doing it for them. I think everyone is into it now.

Vision's putting a damper on the spirits with a million questions. I really want him to shut up. Wanda's putting up with it, but I can tell it's even starting to bother her. Scott and Rhodes distract her with the promise of baking Christmas cookies. She promises to make her own recipe as well as theirs.

Baking is an adventure in itself. There is flour everywhere. Wanda even has some on cheek, but shrugs when I point it out. When I'm not looking, she uses her thumb to smear some on mine. "Now we match!"

She looks so pleased with herself that I can't be mad.

We really play up the Christmas traditions when Steve reads _Twas the Night Before Christmas_ aloud to us on Christmas Eve. After Vision interrupts the story for the third time, even Wanda looks visibly annoyed. "No more questions! Just listen to the story!"

He looks so hurt, one of the few emotions he's mastered, that she touches his hand. "I am sorry. I will answer more questions tomorrow, but for now I just want to listen."

"I apologize," he says, taking her hand in his.

I force myself to ignore it as anger bubbles in my chest. But Wanda's excited smile as she commands all of us to go to bed makes any negative emotion disappear.

* * *

 _Her hair tickles my face as she straddles me, sending pleasure surging through me. I pull her down into me, kissing her hard, our tongues battling._

" _Bucky," she whispers, and that familiar shiver runs down my spine as I try to get her even closer._

"Bucky! Bucky, wake up!"

I jolt, but hands are firmly on my chest, holding me down. I have to take a moment to register that yes, Wanda is straddling me and yes, she is wearing one of my old t-shirts, and no, I'm not dreaming right now.

"What time is it?" I finally manage.

"6:00! Sam and Nat are already making pancakes and bacon!"

My dream comes flooding back as I look up at her and I feel my face flush. "I'll meet you out there soon, okay?"

"Okay! And stay in your pajamas! Scott said it's tradition!"

I try to harness some of her energy as I drag myself out of bed. I'm used to getting up early, but not this early. Rhodes looks exhausted when I meet him in the hall. "She's excited."

"Clearly," I reply.

There's a knock at the door right as we're sitting down to breakfast. "Who could that be?" Vision asks.

"Maybe it's Santa," Scott jokes.

Wanda opens the door and gasps. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Tony Stark. He's holding two giant sacks and wearing a Santa hat.

"I invited him," Steve says.

"I come bearing gifts." He holds out the bags like peace offerings.

Everyone's eyes are on Wanda. If anyone has reason to blast Stark out the door, it's her. The last thing I want is for her Christmas to be ruined. She and Steve look at each other for a long time, then she nods. Sam walks over to Stark and takes one of the bags. "Those look heavy."

"There's food in that one," he replies. "I thought I could contribute to Christmas dinner."

"What's in the other one?" Wanda asks.

"Gifts." He looks at Steve. "Cap sent me a list and I bought."

"Thank you for that," Steve says.

"I know I can't buy your trust," Stark says to us. "But since we're likely going to be fighting other worldly beings again, I figured I could try to be civil."

Scott takes the other bag and places it next to the tree. "Do you want some pancakes?"

Thor arrives in the early afternoon to round out the team. He's brought Asgardian ale with him. We drink, eat, open the boxes from the gift bag-lots of winter clothes among them, something we were all lacking-sing, and dance. Wanda's cookies are fantastic and everyone is cracking jokes right and left as we attempt Charades. We're all varying levels of drunk, which makes it more fun. I try to ignore when Wanda falls asleep with her head against Vision's shoulder. I don't like the way it feels.

He smirks when he catches my eye. "Something bothering you, Sergeant?"

I'm amazed at how quickly he's picked up human emotions. It must be all the movies we watch. "No," I reply shortly.

"You should have known Wanda was going to choose me over you. I am actually a challenge at sparring. We certainly cannot say the same for you. Furthermore, she does not have to worry about me losing control and killing her like you can."

It takes every ounce of energy to control the desire to pound his face in. "She and I made sure that I will never lose control again."

"The deprogramming, yes?" He laughs, a cruel sound. "I am referring to your temper, Sergeant. Even now you struggle to control it. She is lucky I will always be here to protect her."

"She doesn't need protecting!"

My voice jolts her from her sleep. She rubs her eyes, blinking as she takes in the scene. "What is happening?"

I glare at Vision. "Nothing. I'm going to bed."

His triumphant smile lets me know I played right into his hands.

* * *

It snows almost every day for the next week. We all take advantage of our new winter clothes to build forts and have snowball wars. After several lopsided battles, Sam decrees that Wanda and Vision aren't allowed to use their powers. Wanda smiles at me. "Oh well."

His words have been swirling in my head since Christmas. When he and I were paired to spar, I stupidly took my anger out on him, forgetting that he could easily kill me if he wanted to. And he hurt me as badly as he could without raising suspicion. I think Wanda knows something is going on, though. She can read us without going into our minds.

After a long day of snowball battles, we decide to kick back, make popcorn, and watch every corny movie on TV. Wanda sits between Vision and me on one of the couches, and I take pleasure in noting that she won't let him hold her hand.

By the end of the third movie, only Sam, Rhodes, Vision, Wanda, and I are left watching. I get up to poke at the logs in the fireplace and hear Vision ask a question. "Wanda, what is love?"

"Well, you have the love the Avengers have for each other, that we will fight for each other and protect each other no matter what, even at the cost of our own lives."

"What about the love in the movies?"

"Romantic love. It is when you have to smile when you look at the person; even just being near them makes your heart beat a little faster, your mouth become a little dry. You cannot see a day without them by your side. You notice the little things about them, like the way they hide behind their hair when they are upset or drum their fingers when they are thinking. It is the way them saying your name sends shivers down your spine."

I look up sharply, my heart pounding when I see that Wanda's looking at me.

"The way they hold you when you have had a nightmare and do not care that you have woken them for the hundredth time screaming in your sleep. The way they look at you when you spar together, a mix of admiration and determination to finally win, even though they never do. You love even the parts of them that they hide, the parts they do not love about themselves."

All I see is her. I cross the room and lift her off the couch, kissing her firmly on the mouth. Her lips are sweeter than I ever imagined. I'm dimly aware of Vision's gasp, of Sam's whistle, of Rhodes, "Let's give them some privacy."

When we break apart, her chest is heaving just like mine is. "You know the reasons I love you," I say breathlessly.

Her fingers are still tangled in my hair. "I do."

"Why me? Why not Vision?"

"He saw me at my strongest and still felt he needed to protect me, and that I was not able to save myself. You saw me at my weakest and never tried to save me; you helped me save myself. You never saw me as anything but equal."

"I never will." I kiss her again, drinking her in hungrily, sliding a hand beneath her shirt to trace her scars. "I will never let you be hurt like that again."

Her hand moves down, caressing my silver arm. "I will do the same."


End file.
